Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Houston, we have a blender
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
