Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
