You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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