even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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