you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize