Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
