would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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