I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
