I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
