having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
