There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
