Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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