I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
