i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
