you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I am mentally ready for anal.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
