small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
