Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize