Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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