If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
