I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
