There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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