I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
