she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
