This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
