So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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