Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
