He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
