I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
