First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
