He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
