I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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