I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My ass is underappreciated
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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