It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
