Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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