fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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