saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
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