I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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