ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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