I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
