Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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