So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I don't think brook has ever known best
this beer tastes like vomit already
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
