Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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