And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
