Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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