Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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