So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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