i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
