I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize