my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
