I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i now understand why vodka
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
