I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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