Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
