it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
