guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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