covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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