I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
