Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
