our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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