Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
