just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize