Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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