I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
