The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
