STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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