he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize