her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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