So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
