I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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