How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
